I was born to a couple who hated each other’s religious beliefs. My father was obsessed with abuse, alcohol, and weird religions. He used to be obsessed with the devil and told me, as a little girl, that the devil comes into your bedroom at night. I still have a sleep phobia and cannot sleep with the lights off. I envy people who can curl up in bed and sleep. I am still looking around and trying to feel safe.
All my life I tried everything to get God to like me. Everyone else seemed to have no trouble hearing him and having supernatural experiences. I wanted them and begged for them all the time. I asked to see just one angel, or hear one word that would show God is real and loves me. I prayed, fasted, attended church, and continued to try to convince God I was worth loving.
My name is EJ Hill. I converted to Christianity on the 6th of November 1993, at the age of 16.
Since my conversion I have worked as a short-term missionary with Operation Mobilization (OM), church-planter with Wayman Mitchell’s Christian Fellowship Churches, pastor, apologist, and continuity presenter for Radio 7 FM [now closed], managed to complete a Bachelor of Arts in Bible and Theology (BA.Th) at Miracle Bible C ollege (MBC), and a number of other theological certifications (Th.Cert) and diplomas, through the Bible Way Corres pondence School, International Bible School, Lutheran Hour, Source of Light Schools, Tripp Bible Institute, Tygerberg Bible School, World Bible School, and the Universal Life Church (ULC).
I have been a very dedicated student of Christianity, for the better part of my life. Spent countless hours studying the Bible. Wrote hundreds of articles on Church History, Christology, Sacramentology, Arminianism, Calvinism, Bible Difficulties, Seeming Contradictions, Iconography, Roman Catholicism, Tormentism, Conditionalism, and Annihilationism – to name but a few.
My search for truth took me from Arminianism to C alvinism; from Paedobaptism to Credobaptism; from Libertarianism to Compatibilism; from Cessationism to Continuationism; fr om Intermediate Consciousness to Intermediate Unconsciousness [Psychopannych ism]; from Universal Immortality to Conditional Immortality [Conditionalism]; and finall y [after 21 years] from Christianity to Atheism.
Unlike many atheists, my ‘fall from grace’ [that is my deconversion] was NOT the result of scientific evidence, peer pressure, doubt, or personal ‘sin’ – but the direct result of an honest and unbiased, look at the issues surrounding Scribal Errors, Slavery, Misogyny, Infanticide, the Kalām Cosmological Argument, etc.