Posts Tagged ‘proud atheist’
Barton Boehm
Barton was raised a Catholic. As an adult he went on to establish a Church of Wicca which he served as high priest. Now Barton proudly identifies as an atheist and we are proud to have him as a TCP participant. Barton, tell us more…..
I was raised Catholic in a suburb of New Orleans. In my mother’s eyes, baptism was like a brand on cattle that cannot be removed. However, we were really only Sunday morning devotees and nothing more, even though she was raised with heavier obligations to all the sacraments. As a teen, I began questioning/exploring religion, especially after seeing Joseph Campbell’s The Power of Myth series on P.B.S. I suppose it was then I knew that Christianity wasn’t right for me and that the Pagan worldview resonated more with me.
I had always had a fascination with the paranormal and otherworldly, but just not the scary, evil, or devilish. Then, I saw some witches on TV — Oprah to be exact. These were Wiccans, not Satanists, and their message was positive and powerful. Around that same time, roughly my graduating year of high school in 1986, I read a few books on the subject and was sold. I dedicated myself to that religion. It took a few more years before the opportunity to find teachers presented itself. That came in the early 90’s in North Georgia. I learned a great deal, but a terrible roommate experience led me to leave Georgia and return to be near my parents on the Mississippi Gulf Coast.
The stars seemed aligned for me in Mississippi as I both became the manager of a “New Age” store and met the woman with whom I would be married and start a family. She, too, was Wiccan and together we bought that little store and made it our own. All the while, we crafted our own eclectic form of Wiccan practice. In Wicca, the belief system has basic common elements but, with no central authority, adherents can tailor their observances to meet their needs. For us the store gave us the chance to meet many others of like mind and we decided the best way to serve our community would be to establish a legally-recognized church of Wicca. She had come from a Wiccan group in New Orleans that had been legal since 1972, so there was some guidance from there. Upon meeting another Louisiana group, we learned there was an international Wiccan church in Washington State that was given a special IRS designation. This church could confer legal 501(c)3 status to its affiliates under an “umbrella” exemption. We made quick work of it and in 1999 became a real church and real clergy –in Mississippi no less!
Years later after my wife and I divorced I closed the store but kept the church going. As High Priest, I conferred ordinations, married couples, blessed babies, hosted regular services, etc. I was president of the local chapter of The Interfaith Alliance for two years in a row. At its height we would sometimes have 50-100 guests to our church services which we considered our “congregation.” The inner core group of initiates took part in keeping things running with me. As time passed, folks would come and go – some to start their own groups, some to explore other pathways. By 2012 our group had shrunk in size to a small handful of 4 or 5. We were growing apart or perhaps tired of what we had been doing for so many years.
It was at this time that something switched for me. I was going through the motions, but I did not actually believe in deity anymore. They were merely symbolic at best. Now, this wasn’t a stretch because for many Wiccans the God/Goddess were merely symbolic representations of that which we experience as Earthly. A dual natured godhead for a dual-natured world. Male/Female, yin/yang, etc. Up to now, they were real to me. I prayed to and worshipped them as having actual consciousness. But it was gone and I felt as though I was betraying someone or something. I confessed this to the remaining members and we agreed to end the church. It was devastating because the church was my baby – a creation of mine of which I was very proud.
Since then, my logic became more scientific/evidence-based. I became an atheist and have proudly adopted that moniker among others. Still, there’s a part of me that wishes I could marry the old and the new. In fact, there are atheist Pagans doing just that, but it is a small faction and, quite frankly, non-believers don’t seem much on group dynamics in my experience.
So here I am looking for those who have come through something similar even if from a different tradition. I hope we can grow together. Thanks for reading.